The last month or so has been a difficult one in our household. One of my family members has been battling cancer for the past two and a half years. Last month, the battle came to a close. I traveled 1500 miles to be with my family during those final days and to say my good-bye to this man that I was very close to. A couple of weeks later, we packed up everybody to be with family and attend funeral services.
A situation like this is difficult in and of itself, but add to this mix working around a schedule for a resident. It complicates matters in a multitude of ways, and even when you are able to work the schedule out, you have absolutely no wiggle room or flexibility.
Here's our story . . .
After a number of discussions between my husband and myself, the decision was made that I would fly out on a Thursday with our two children to be with my family sooner rather than later. The plan was for my husband to fly out after leaving work a couple of hours early on Friday afternoon. Everything was originally going as planned, but unfortunately, the plane had mechanical issues and he did not end up arriving to our destination until an hour prior to the start of the funeral services on Saturday. He made it to the important part (in brand spanking new clothes because our luggage didn't make it)!
When this decision was made, my husband had worked it out so that he only missed a couple of hours of work and only had to reschedule one shift . . . not bad for the resident schedule.
Then we come to the trip back home. Our flight was delayed. We missed our plane. The airline could not get us home until late on Monday night. My husband was scheduled to be at the hospital early on Monday and was on call in-house until Tuesday morning. Now, what do we do?!?
As soon as we knew we were going to miss our connecting flight, he called his attending. It was a stressful time for EVERYONE involved. We tried everything to get him home sooner, but he was between a rock and a hard place. Pay more money for an additional ticket to get home earlier . . . Money we don't necessarily have to spend, especially on such a short term notice. Abandon the family in an airport and unfamiliar town and let them fend for themselves . . A decision he did not feel comfortable with either.
The end result . . . We were stuck overnight. The attending had to re-work the schedule for the entire month because of this one missed day that was completely out of our control. My husband was able to get out on an earlier flight thanks to being on standby to ensure he actually got home this time. The kids and I hit the late night flight. We all made it home. We didn't do it together, but we were all home safely in the long run.
This trip confirmed a number of things for me . . . I HAVE to share my husband with the hospital, even in the rough times, whether I like it or not. (For the record, I don't like it.) My husband will work hard to confirm that both his family is okay and still do what he needs to do to be successful at his job. This situation has proven to me more than anything the importance of compromise in our type of marriage. And, last but not least, times can be tense . . . times can be stressful . . . times can be demanding and pulling you two different ways at once. In the end, it all works out. It makes an impact on the relationship. I may not have been proud of some of my actions or comments, particularly in front of my children (yes, I yelled at airline officials!). BUT, I hope that we as a couple will grow from this experience.
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, right?!?
{Insert Kanye West's song, Stronger here! I would, but I don't like the video as much as I like the song!}
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